Thursday, 18 June 2009

Suspicion is a heavy armor and with its weight it impedes more than it protects.

My stupid bank convinced me a couple of years ago to switch to electronic bank statements as it’s more convenient, and reduces my carbon footprint. The same bank then think that it’s perfectly acceptable to charge me a fiver to print out a single statement so I can prove to my solicitor that I am who I say I am. I mean a whole five bangers for what exactly!? One, possibly two sheets of A4! Then they tell me that it'll take seven to ten working days to do so!! This must of course be because it will be hand written by angels using the finest parchment, the most exquisitely expensive ink and a quill made from dodo feathers. It will then be delivered upon a velvet cushion with an appropriate fanfare.

Then of course there are the aforementioned solicitors who already have a copy of my passport, both parts of my driver's license and my P60 and then wonder if I really am me when I can't immediately provide a bank statement or utility bill. They look at me with suspicion in their eyes when I protest that my bank statements are electronic which means the postie doesn't bring them. Then there's more scepticism when I try very patiently, in the simplest of terms, to explain that as I still live at home with my parent none of the utility bills that come through the door are in my name.

“But surely you must pay for things while you live there?” yes, it’s called dig money ya walloper!!

Very shortly however, I will have more utility bills than I know what to do with after I actually buy this flat...assuming of course I eventually prove that I'm not an imposter.


  1. How many bits of ID would you want to see before you loaned somebody hundreds of thousands of pounds?


  2. Broken Britain BBF Broken Britain, twats aren't they, like you say for what!!! How do they justify it. I loved the time I claimed £1700 back from Natwest for a decade of charges, I'm not daft and know it was all my fault but when in one day you get charged like £80 it is so wrong! I love when you phone utility companies and they won't do anything unless you have your account numbers and know a passord or pin you set two years ago! However they want all your personal details to tell you the simplest details or for you to give THEM money! They won't prove who they are but you have to prove who you are, even though it was you who phoned them!!

  3. Broken britain is an accurate description Jamie, that would've been a nice cheque to recieve and good 'up yours' to the bank into the bargain.

    The funny thing is the Halifax have already agreed to the mortgage ages ago. This is just the solicitor apparently "ensuring that I'm not landering money" and my regular bank being their usual rip off merchant selves.

  4. I think your problem is with the Proceeds of Crime Act and Money Laundering Regulations. Your solicitor doesn't have any choice but to jump through the hoops. It'd be a criminal offence for him not to.

    I recommend going for a pint. When's the house warming btw? :O)

  5. Aye you're probably right Gordy and after a few beers, funnily enough, it did seem less annoying...except for the bank still being rip off merchants.

    House warming? you shall be duly informed mate How's the bairn and the better half?

  6. The bairn's thriving. Better half's still better.


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